You're a Mean One, Mr Reborn
by Anya Urameshi
Summary: “Now close your eyes and hold out your hands.” “How about you close your eyes and I put a gun to your head.” RebornLambo


Title: You're a Mean One, Mr. Reborn

Rating: PG

Pairing: RebornLambo

Summary: "Now close your eyes and hold out your hands." "How about you close your eyes and I put a gun to your head."

A/N: Ignore the general suckiness of this and the fact that some people may be slightly out of character in some people's eyes. I am an avid believer in the idea that nobody acts the same around everyone. Which sounds like an excuse, but really isn't.

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Reborn really hated winter.

Not only was it the coldest time of the year, but it was also the busiest. Everyone was rushing around and causing mass hysteria in the name of "seasonal cheer". Just last week, he'd read about somebody being trampled to death in a nearby shopping center because a riot was started over _children's toys_.

(And Tsuna thought the mafia was violent,) Reborn snorted, shaking his head as he walked down the hallway. (It's a good thing I don't bother with Christmas shopping....)

Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice told him that wasn't true. Reborn chose too ignore it in favor of inspecting the source of the curious noise coming from the meeting room, which he was quickly coming upon.

Standing in the doorway, Reborn raised an eyebrow at the sight he was met with. Yamamoto seemed to have gotten a hold of something and was chasing Gokudera with it while the Storm Guardian threatened him with bodily injury. Lambo was sitting cross-legged on the table laughing happily at the two's antics and was actually the first to notice Reborn's presence.

"Hey, Reborn!" He called, eyes lighting up in a way that made Reborn vaguely uncomfortable every time he saw it as he beckoned for the other man to join them. Gokudera abruptly stopped running and Yamamoto used his surprise to grab him around the waist and proceed to kiss him senseless, holding the object (which was quickly identified as mistletoe) over their heads, while Reborn crossed the room to stand beside Lambo.

"How are you today?" the Thunder guardian inquired, still beaming at him in a disconcerting way.

"Fine. You shouldn't be sitting on the table."

"That's good," Lambo replied, ignoring his second comment. "Me and Yamamoto-"

"Yamamoto and I."

"Yamamoto and I," Lambo continued without missing a beat, "are almost finished decorating the base, but Gokudera showed up and now I get the feeling that I'm going to be doing the rest by myself."

"Get someone else to help you."

"Chrome and Ryohei aren't here, Mukuro and the Vongola are.....busy....Ipin is at work, and I seriously thought Hibari was going to kill me when I asked him."

"Ask someone else the-" Reborn turned to see that Lambo was giving him a pleading look. "No."

"Please?"

"No."

"I'll give you a present."

Reborn paused, giving the younger male a critical look. "What kind of present?"

"A good one."

Reborn debilitated for a moment before finally sighing in consedence.

"It better be."

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He should have known this would happen.

"Wait, Reborn!" Lambo called, chasing the pissed hitman down the newly decorated corridors of the underground base. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to blow up the coffee machine!"

"That is the fifth coffee-maker this month," Reborn growled. "Not to mention the toaster you fried last week and the lights that have to be replaced every time you get upset."

"Why are you getting so upset anyways? I'm the one who pays for the damage!"

"You need to learn some semblance of control. One of these days, you're going to destroy something irreplaceable, and then we'll be having beef for dinner courtesy of Spanner or Shouichi, depending on who gets to you first."

Lambo paused, eyes wide. "You're....worried about me?"

"No," Reborn replied quickly, wondering how the hell the idiot had drawn that conclusions ("He's right though," the little voice in his head that Reborn was seriously growing to hate stated), finally reaching the door to his quarters. "I'm worried about the base."

He slapped the button next to his door, with a little more force than necessary, and entered his suite, closing the door behind him. A moment later, Lambo heard the click of the lock.

"My, my..." the Thunder Guardian murmured, walking over to place a hand on the door. "I didn't get to give you your present yet..."

"Go away," Reborn ordered. Lambo shook his head, leaning to press and ear against the door so he could hear better.

"Reborn? Please open the door."

"No."

"I'm sorry that I broke the coffee machine," Lambo apologized. "And the toaster," he added as an afterthought. "But I really want to give you your present, which I can't do unless you open the door."

This time, Reborn didn't even deign to reply, and Lambo let out a sigh, standing back and crossing his arms with a frown.

"If you don't let me in, I'll sing. Christmas carols. _Annoying_ Christmas carols."

Still no response.

Lambo kicked the door petulantly before taking a deep breath.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Reborn..." Lambo sang loud enough for possibly everyone in the base to hear as he seated himself against the wall next to the door. "You really are a heel!"

"You're as cuddly as a cactus! You're as charming as an eel!" he continued, now grinning widely. "Mr. Reborn."

"You're a monster, Mr. Reborn...." Lambo found himself vaguely wondering if Reborn was even in his room. "You're heart's an empty hole!"

Of course, he had watched the man walk in there. "Your brain is full of spiders! You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Reborn"

But he could've escaped out the window or something. "You're a vile one, Mr. Reborn!" Lambo wouldn't put it past the man who had often gone through great feats in the pursuit of ignoring him. "You have termites in your smile!"

"You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile!" Lambo was singing as the door slid open to reveal the resigned looking hitman. "Mr. Reborn...."

Reborn glared down at him, but Lambo just grinned and darted into the room to jump onto the bed.

"What do you want?" Reborn asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the door as Lambo began to bounce slightly on his mattress.

"I already told you! Your Christmas present!" Lambo replied cheerfully. Reborn raised an eyebrow silently at the boy's obvious enthusiasm.

"Christmas isn't for another three weeks, idiot."

"I know, but I wanted to give it to you early just in case."

"And why would I want anything you had to give?" Reborn inquired, ignoring the little voice in his head that told him he'd been pretty eager that morning when he helped Lambo with the decorations.

Rather than rise to the bait like he normally would have done by now, Lambo just continued to grin and even raised one hand to beckon Reborn over to him. Against his better judgment (because he really was curious, even if he would never admit it), Reborn moved to stand in front of the Thunder Guardian.

"Okay," Lambo stated. "Now close your eyes and hold out your hands."

"No."

"Oh, come on, Reborn!"

"How about you close your eyes and I put a gun to your head."

"It won't be the same unless its a surprise!"

Reborn stared coldly at the boy before rolling his eyes and closing them.

"Hold out your hands."

He did, wondering vaguely if he was going to have to kill Lambo for this later, and felt two warm hands being placed over his own right before something soft pressed against his mouth.

Reborn's eyes shot open just in time to see Lambo pull back and give him a wide mischievous grin.

"Merry Christmas, Reborn," were his parting words as he ran out the door before the older man could regather his wits enough to shoot him in the head.

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The next day, Reborn found out that Lambo had been sent on a mission that would possibly last him through the rest of the year, so he was forced to settle for taking his frustrations out on anyone and everyone (un)fortunate enough to be stuck at the base until the cow's return.

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A/N: And that's it. Hope it didn't suck too much.


End file.
